Rachel Vincent by If I die

Author:If I die [die, If I]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2011-10-09T23:30:58+00:00

“Yes, we’re fine.”

“Well then,” Nash said, brows arched in challenge, like he wasn’t sure he completely believed me. “I can’t help noticing that we’re all alone here.” He squeezed me tighter and whispered into my ear, though there was no one else to hear him. “I say we go to your room and start granting wishes…”

A couple of hours earlier, I would have led him to my room with my head spinning, the rest of me on fire with anticipation. But now, it didn’t feel right. Tod was right—I did want to sleep with Nash just to say I’d done it. To know what it felt like. But Nash would think it meant more than that.

Lying to avoid hurting him felt bad enough, and I was only doing it because I’d be gone in a few days, but Tod wouldn’t, and three hundred years was a long time to hate your own brother.

But sleeping with Nash for the wrong reason was something else entirely. I couldn’t use him like that. So I lied again.

“It’s been a really long day, and I’m kind of starving. Why don’t we order Chinese and watch a movie? Your choice.”

Nash frowned. “I thought you wanted to.”

“I did. I do. Just…not tonight.” Not that there were many nights left, but I’d deal with those as they came.

“Are you still mad because I asked about Tod?”

“No. Nash, this has nothing to do with Tod, and I’m not mad at you.

Everything’s fine.” Surely the biggest lie I’d ever told.

He looked unconvinced, but dropped a kiss on my forehead anyway and tried to hide his disappointment. “You order the food, I’ll find a movie. It doesn’t matter what we do. Just being with you is enough for me.”

My guilt was like the ocean, swallowing me whole.

“When you were little, you used to call those ‘pop hearts,’” my dad said, and I looked up from my blueberry toaster pastry to find him standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Hey. Where were you last night?” He looked like hell. Bloodshot eyes, dark circles, pale skin.

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